I saw an obituary today of a person who lived a long, blessed life and died last January. I wondered what she would think of what has happened across the world since her death. I have no doubt that when she drew her final breath she was heading to God. How blessed she is!
Meanwhile, the rest of us are making our way through scandal, a pandemic, race riots, an unstable economy, and elections with largely unimpressive candidates shrouded with controversy. Enough already! Unfortunately, few of us are optimistic that the new year is going to bring much change short term. Sigh.
Our perspectives and ability to deal with our current struggles vary. Fr. Dan prophetically told me recently that “This is the cross, people! Are you going to carry it or not?” Jesus also said, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.”
We all have crosses. God asks us to embrace the physical, spiritual, and psychological suffering that comes from living in this fallen world. It can range from COVID-19 to religious persecution. It can be a suicide or a stillborn baby or the pain of a broken relationship or losing a job. Whatever its source, we all have crosses.
Before we embrace any cross, we can ask the Lord to remove it! Although Jesus told us to carry our crosses, he also removed crosses out of compassion. But why does God remove some crosses and not others? This is the mystery of suffering, most especially when faithful people suffer while godless people might not.
St. Paul carried a “thorn in the flesh.” Although we don’t know what it was, he asked the Lord to take it away three times. Even Jesus prayed in the garden just before he was arrested. Yet neither Jesus nor Paul was spared.
When a cross appears, ask the Lord to remove it. Cry out like the blind beggar Bartimaeus: “Jesus, son of David, have pity on me!” But what if the cross stays? Well, God gives us divine grace to embrace our crosses. Jesus once told St. Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”
Embracing a cross with God’s grace will lead us to depend on God more. And rather than dwell on our own sufferings, we find ourselves moved with compassion for other sufferers. In short, we become more like Jesus.
This is the cross’ paradox: We accept suffering not because we like it, but to grow closer to Jesus and give him glory through them. The Holy Spirit is at the heart of human suffering and transforms our spiritual life, drawing us closer to the Father.
If you have been asked to carry a cross this year, pray for resolution. If the cross remains, ask Jesus for his grace to help you embrace it. As Pope John Paul II said, “Man suffers on account of evil, which is a certain lack, limitation or distortion of good.” It will not be a part of the new Jerusalem when Jesus comes again. But God is able to bring good—even great blessings—out of this evil.
Take a moment now to bless everyone you know who is carrying a cross. Ask Jesus to send grace to them to bring them his peace!
- Fr. Richard
Many observances that mark the passing of Roe v. Wade have been canceled or seriously curtailed because of, you guessed it, COVID-19. Therefore, we made the decision to respond locally. On January 21, there will be a Vigil for Life at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish from 7 - 9 p.m. that will include Eucharistic adoration and benediction, praise and worship music, and confessions. Because of seating restrictions due to COVID, registration is encouraged at vigilforlifecarmel2021.eventbrite.com.
On January 22, our parish will be having a Mass for Life at 5:30 p.m. If you would like, bring diapers/wipes or gently used baby clothes as a donation. These items are desperately needed to assist those in need at the Merciful HELP Center. We distribute them multiple times a week so they won’t be hanging around here for long!
And finally, we are encouraging you to make a luminaria display in your yard on January 21 that might encourage neighborhood conversations. The parish will participate with our own “Lights for Life” in the north parking lot. Needed items (sand, candles, and bags) will be available January 16 - 21 at the parish while supplies last (east of the Adoration Chapel near the gaga pit) and are free. Also, you can purchase a sign (free-will donation) for your yard that says, “We are Pro-Life.” These signs are limited, so make sure you stop by after Mass and get one!
I have noticed in recent years that arguments about abortion have diminished. For many, it is just the law of the land, and we should just get over it. There is no sense that we should consider biology, ethics, or the implications of even late-term abortions. It is just about the right of a woman and sometimes a father to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.
Bishop Robert Barron recently wrote that “We stand at a pivotal point in the great moral debate over abortion in our country—not because new arguments have emerged, but rather because laws so breathtaking in their barbarism have been passed.” We tend to think of abortion as something that happens in the early months of pregnancy. That is simply not the case anymore. For example, a few years ago, the states of New York, Delaware, and a number of others began to allow the killing of a child in the womb at any point in the pregnancy OR on the clinic or hospital operating table, should the child by some miracle survive the abortion. That’s simply horrific.
Consider this carefully. A wanted child is the subject of dignity and celebration and enjoys the full protection of the law. Conversely, if a child is unwanted, even a newborn baby struggling to breathe on an operating table can be murdered and discarded. That is nothing short of infanticide. That is the law of the land in some of our states. I was haunted by a video of New York legislators applauding the legislation that allowed late-term abortion. To them, it seemed akin to passing legislation that outlawed slavery or racial discrimination. “Yay us! We can kill a baby whenever we want!” I was dumbfounded.
On the flip side, these laws have caused reasonable people to reconsider their support of abortion laws. And as I always say, our deeply held dogma about the respect of human life is not just to protect unborn children. It is also out of concern for men and women who make a decision that they think is responsible and good, which results in long-term suffering, guilt, and grief. If you are one of those parents, know that you are loved by this pastor and I will make time for your healing.
Let us pray for greater respect for human life always—from the womb to the end of life.
- Fr. Richard
2021 CommUNITY Care Day
CommUNITY Care Day is our Merciful HELP Center’s alternative to Christmas gift distribution that was, from my perspective, missing the mark. Many years ago after recalling our mission to meet human needs and not wants, instead of providing Christmas toys, we opted to provide essentials such as shoes and socks, undergarments, school shirts, and a book for children in need in nearby Anderson, IN. This community that is less than an hour away from Carmel has sadly lost thousands of well-paying jobs in the automobile industry.
We usually stage this program at St. Mary Church in Anderson. Unfortunately, COVID-19 does not make this possible. Still, the financial challenges this year make this program even more important. Therefore, we have been working on a safe way to complete this program as a parish family. We decided to create special “Care Packages” for 845 children and delivering them directly to families’ homes. 309 families will be affected positively this year!
Along with the essentials of the Care Package, we are including small things to brighten each child’s day. We will also be giving food, toiletries, and fresh produce to help families with the food crisis that exists in many homes these days. We are sending a message of UNITY between the Catholic and secular community during a divisive and troubling time across America. Please pray for our success.
I am sure many of you have noticed the increased use of the Merciful HELP Center. I want to thank all of our generous and faithful supporters. Because of your generosity, we have been able to feed more than 14,000 people each month! You have not forgotten the people in need during this difficult time, and we see that in your steadfast love for God and the poorest of the poor. Your support has not wavered through hard times. In fact, it has multiplied, and I am so inspired by you. Thank you!
How can you help? What is there left to do? Please go to the SignUpGenius for 2021 Community Care Day to help deliver care packages, food, toiletries, and produce: bit.ly/care-day-2020.
Lunch for Those in Need
Another ecumenical project we coordinate is making bags of food for children that are at risk of not having food to eat over the weekend. The Merciful HELP Center coordinates this effort for Carmel Public Schools in partnership with five local churches. Each church takes a month to pack up the bags and delivers them to the Carmel school counselors for distribution each week. The Merciful HELP Center provides 80% of the food that goes out in these bags and, once again, it is because of your support and some generous grants we have received, particularly since the pandemic. To assist in the 2021 program, we need back sack making and Carmel School homebound lunch deliveries. The SignUpGenius is bit.ly/2021backsack.
Finally, in cooperation with the Knights of Columbus, the January Blood Drive is coming up. See page 5 of this bulletin for the links to sign up.
- Fr. Richard
Earlier this month, Pope Francis announced the Year of St. Joseph, honoring the 150th anniversary of St. Joseph’s proclamation as patron of the Universal Church. This made me happy, as my middle name is Joseph and I pray to him often.
Pope Francis said the pandemic heightened his desire to reflect on St. Joseph, as so many people have made hidden sacrifices for others, just as St. Joseph quietly protected and cared for Mary and Jesus. He also said he wanted to highlight St. Joseph’s role as a father who served his family with charity and humility, adding, “Our world today needs fathers.”
There have been many attempts to strengthen fathers. I read an article that included sobering and shocking statistics about the children of faltering, absent fathers. When a father is absent, his children are more likely to live in poverty and suffer emotional problems; more likely to commit a crime or go to prison; more likely to face teen pregnancy, drug abuse, and neglect; more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol; more likely to suffer obesity; more likely to drop out of high school.
But these are the temporal implications of failed fatherhood. There are additional statistics about the impact of fathers on their children’s faith. There was a study about faith and fathers (The Demographic Characteristics of the Linguistic and Religious Groups) that has some really interesting revelations about fathers and faith. They are summarized succinctly by writer Michael Craven:
"If a father does not go to church-no matter how faithful his wife…only one child in 50 will become a regular worshipper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular and irregular). One of the reasons suggested for this distinction is that children tend to take their cues about domestic life from Mom while their conceptions of the world outside come from Dad. If Dad takes faith in God seriously then the message to their children is that God should be taken seriously."
Whenever I have shared the results of such studies, some, particularly moms, are hurt by them, as if their contribution doesn’t matter. Quite the contrary, as parenting isn’t a competition. It is a union for the purpose of raising Godly children. Mothers who have been abandoned by the fathers of their children deserve our love and support as they heroically raise their children. And their children also deserve our support as well. But I also believe that in more recent years, the contributions of fathers have been marginalized with disastrous results. We need mothers and the contributions that they make, and we need the same of fathers to produce healthy and holy children.
I am thinking of ways to help fathers renew the commitment during 2021. Stay tuned. I learned a prayer in 2nd grade to St. Joseph that comes to mind for the Year of St. Joseph that I would like to conclude with.
Oh, St. Joseph, whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the throne of God, I place in you all my interests and desires. Oh, St. Joseph, do assist me by your powerful intercession and obtain for me from your divine son all spiritual blessings through Jesus Christ, our Lord; so that having engaged here below your heavenly power I may offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most loving of fathers. Oh St. Joseph, I never weary contemplating you and Jesus asleep in your arms. I dare not approach while he reposes near your heart. Press him in my name and kiss his fine head for me, and ask him to return the kiss when I draw my dying breath. St. Joseph, patron of departing souls, pray for us. Amen!
- Fr. Richard
Merry Christmas! I am so happy that you are celebrating Christmas with us, be it at home through a live-stream or in person with us at one of our many Masses. I have been remembering all of you throughout the Advent Season as we prepared for the Solemnity of Christmas. I am acutely aware from a natural perspective that it has not been ideal.
I am praying most especially for those who are alone or are disappointed because they are not able to be with family this year. Most especially, when we think supernaturally, we are reminded that, through the Incarnation of Jesus Christ, we are not and will never be alone–that God is with us! It would do us all well to reach out to any friend that we know that is alone this Christmas. Perhaps a socially-distanced invitation to dinner to the lonely will give them hope and allow us to serve the Lord.
But although the pandemic has put a damper on Christmas, why cut the celebration short? For Catholics, we celebrate many beautiful feasts with accompanying traditions during the Christmas Season.
In addition to the Solemnity of Christmas, there is Sunday’s Feast of the Holy Family when we pray for our families as we celebrate the love and devotion of St. Joseph and the Blessed Virgin Mary for the Christ Child. The scriptures tell us that in His family, Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man. What an amazing context for such growth: through a family. Perhaps this Sunday could be a family day to do something special, like a walk on the Monon, a nice meal, or a game night.
Then on January 1, we celebrate the Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God. We celebrate that Mary is the Theotokos—the God-Bearer. We ponder that our mother Mary gave birth to Jesus’ humanity as well as his divinity. This would be an awesome day to pray the Rosary’s Joyful Mysteries with the family, meditating on the events surrounding the birth of Christ and his childhood. You could even rent the movie Fatima that was out this year that recounts the apparition of Mary to three shepherd children in Portugal.
And finally, we celebrate the Feast of the Epiphany which comes January 6, twelve days after Christmas Day. Actually, we celebrate the Epiphany on the closest Sunday, so on January 5 in our case in 2020. The feast celebrates the three Wise Men paying their respects to the newborn King. The Wise Men, or “kings,” famously gave the Holy Family gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Wouldn’t it be great to give your family members a religious gift on the Epiphany—a rosary, a book, or a story of a saint that we found inspiring? Believe me, after almost 30 years of priesthood, I probably have enough religious gifts for the whole parish, but I digress!
After all of our wonderful parish liturgies, who knows what our priests will be up for during this Christmas Season. Probably sleep! As you might remember, I cooked for my associates for Thanksgiving. I would love to hand on the responsibility to one of my brother priests, but Fr. Dan will be with his sister, and Frs. De Oreo and Vargese have a penchant for spicy food, which terrifies me!
I do hope to see some members of my family and friends during the Christmas Season. I hope you will, too!
In Christ’s love at Christmas,
-Fr. Richard
We weren’t allowed to touch it. “They aren’t toys,” my mother said impatiently as she carefully unwrapped the figures of our Nativity scene. I remember the day my mom bought the one that I grew up with. It was at some sort of 1970s craft store, a precursor to Hobby Lobby. My mom used to make all kinds of stuff for the church bazaar (or was it church bizarre?) that were made from supplies at that store. As we turned the store aisle’s corner, my mom saw it, and, after careful deliberation, she bought it, a rare treat when you have kids to feed and clothe.
But we rarely kept our hands off it. My mom thanked the Lord when the hot glue gun went on the market and helped restore some semblance of order and health in our manger. Hands and heads were restored to their rightful places.
We were so curious as we pondered all the figures: the gold and silver dressed wise men with their elaborate gifts, and the shepherd who leaned dramatically in curiosity. And the little child with his adoring parents. It’s a fond memory as we listened to the smooth sounds of our Johnny Mathis Christmas album. (We couldn’t keep our hands off the record player either. My poor father replaced the needle constantly!)
I also remember the elaborate Nativity scene at my home parish. There were dozens of figures. I remember after Christmas Eve morning Mass, Father would hand figurines that were stored in a cabinet above the vestment closet to servers off a ladder. “Be careful and use both hands!” he would trumpet as we carried them to the sanctuary where the sacristan would receive them like the crown jewels, sighing in relief each time a figure was handed off.
It was always a prize to get Mary, Joseph, or baby Jesus to carry to the scene. Perhaps that boy was the holiest amongst our server battalion. Or maybe he needed that honor the most.… I always seemed to get sheep, or the ass as the rest of the boys snickered, or a shepherd whose face was a bit too red… kind of looked like he had a few too many on his way to the manger. But I digress.
Hay was always added at the end, the final touch that expressed the great humiliation of the Nativity. Of course, it is the cross that saved us, but it was the manger that demonstrated the Christ child’s humiliating beginnings, a prelude to the kind of life that Jesus was to live for love of us.
Think about it. He likely endured the suspicion of being an illegitimate child as his relatives “did the math.” He was born in poverty among commoners in anonymity in a place of little importance. Not long after, his family fled Bethlehem to live as Egyptian refugees. His hometown was even sketchy, as one of his disciples asked incredulously, “Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?”
His economic status didn’t change during his three years of ministry, either. He once said that “the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Jesus preached from borrowed boats, multiplied borrowed food, rode into Jerusalem on a borrowed colt, and was buried in a borrowed tomb.
We talk about humility more than ever during Christmas in front of our Nativity scenes. And then we tend to pack up those thoughts and convictions as we pack our Nativity scenes away during the first of January. That’s why I keep my Nativity scene out where I see it every day. I think I’m going to add a prayer as I pass by each day: “Like you, Lord Jesus, make me humble through every humiliation.”
-Fr. Richard
A few weeks ago, I communicated that the Parish and Finance Councils were going to meet to talk through the Parish Life Center project. As we all know, 2020 has not been kind. In light of the COVID-19 pandemic and the instability that it has brought, we want to make sure that we are in a good financial position to support our parish as we embark on this vital project. This includes ongoing stability when the project is completed.
Thankfully, your continued stewardship has been amazing through the pandemic! Thank you! I am praying that this continues through the month of December, as historically speaking, we receive nearly twenty percent of our annual income in December.
For the Parish Life Center, we are at the stage of planning where we are meeting with the contractors and architects to iron out construction details related to the project. As often occurs during this phase, the contractors have identified costs that were not expected and have recommended some add-ons to the overall project that just make sense to the members of the Parish and Finance Councils.
Some of the changes are significant, not in terms of expanding the size of the building, but improving the building’s infrastructure. For example, we have been challenged to consider a new HVAC system to ensure excellent air quality in the building (a priority after this pandemic year), replacing equipment that is at the end of expected life (to prioritize now, rather than waiting a couple of years after), installing a much more energy-efficient system than our existing one, and expanding the basement to house some of the HVAC equipment. At the same time, the basement would give us desperately needed additional storage. Other changes identified are minor but necessary, such as stormwater management and utility relocation.
Before asking the diocese for approval of these modifications of our plan, the Parish and Finance Councils also met to make sure the changes proposed still meet the goals originally set out in building the Parish Life Center. The members of the Finance Council also wanted to make sure any increases in costs above the original cost of the project can be funded and paid back without another fundraising campaign. It was the unanimous feeling of the council members that we should proceed.
The changes to the scope of the project have been communicated to the diocese, and we are proceeding with the approval process. It is my desire to keep the members of our parish family completely informed. We are working on the details, communicating a full accounting of the changes, how much the changes will cost, how the parish will finance the changes, and a construction timeline. All this takes time and thought. Our plan is to present all of this to our parish community after the first of the year.
I remain excited about how the Parish Life Center will further the mission of our parish, particularly post COVID-19! I hope this also demonstrates how carefully we are managing your generous gifts. Going through these meetings makes me appreciate the amazing process of constructing a building. I am happy to report that I am learning a lot! Please continue to pray for our parish during this important time.
-Fr. Richard